Sometimes I just feel like swearing-but it never makes it all better

I kind of feel like my life is over.
everyone is young and youthful and teenager-y.
Why don't I feel like a teenager?
Sometimes I feel so old and useless.
I wonder what it's like to be young.
To really feel young and be happy about it.
All my life I've resented my age.
I've always known that I've meant to be older.
To the point where I never let myself be young.
There's so many things that I refuse to do, and haven't done that define youth.
I wonder where I can find mine.
I feel so old.
My mom says I'll be burnt out by the time I'm 25.
I believe her whole-heartedly.
I've never been a teenager.
I have yet to know what it feels like to be one.
I wonder if I'll ever know.
Ever.