To Write A Novel- Or Not To Write A Novel?

I'm conflicted. It seems like such a great thing to do. Something worth while, that I spend some extra time on to love and nourish and raise. But, in all reality, I have already been doing that. I've been writing this one "book" since I've gotten my laptop, which was roughly over a year ago? But the story/plot line kind of seems dumb, useless, and shallow now. Haha, but that was probably the state of mind I was in then :P.
Well..the time has come. I must write a new story with a thicker, possibly darker plot line. And NO the story will NOT have anything related to me within it. If I wanted to write a novel about myself then I could just print out all the entries on this blogger account. So yeah, whatever I choose to write about will be the polar opposite of myself and/or lifestyle.

Speaking of things that are the polar opposite of me...
I'm must buy this one book that I finally picked up and bothered to look at within Borders.

Last weekend my best bud and I hung out and had a sleepover. On Satuday night we went to see Igor http://igor-movie.com/ (her request) and The Dark Knight (her first time, my second, my request).
Though on Sunday morning, waking up bright and early, we were happy to go to our favorite place: Borders. Being that that's just the kind of "nerds" that we happen to be =) (haha, no wonder we're best friends :P)
So anyway, she headed straight for the anime section, I promised I would join her in a minute, but that morning the Social Sciene (i think that was the exact name) section was calling me. I walked through the three shelves of a variety of life stories, "specialty" magazines, books on erogenous zones, and more life stories. And there it was. That book that I had seen for about the 3rd time, but never bothered to pick up, because it was just something, "that I would never read." ((Ha, it's amazing how well I can imitate a dummy.))
There in bold yellow print pinned up again a black background was LADY Q: THE RISE AND FALL OF A LATIN QUEEN.
Now I know you're thinking: Why would that interest me? Ha- first off, I'm nowhere near Latina, secondly, I didn't know the difference between a Latin queen, and the queen of England.
The first time I saw the book I assumed it was just a memoir about the life of a typical teenage Hispanic girl. So, in the past I kind of breezed right by it. Though that day I didn't. That Sunday I noticed the cover. Like I really noticed the cover. On the front is a young Latina girl with tears running down her cheeks marked by smeared mascara/eyeliner. She's wearing a black shirt with what appears to be a yellow camisol underneath, a couple of frail gold necklaces around her neck, and her, I'm guessing from the looks of it then, her right hand thrown up in the air, in what I thought was a blaten, mindless "rock on" sign, or whatever. ((Haha-could I be any more oblivious??))
But that day, I looked at her hand, and the tears behind it, and realzed that there had to be something more to the symbol, to her sadness. and why it looked as if she was forced by something inside to show the sign.
The longer I looked, the more I noticed. The more I started to precieve. And in a matter of moments of looking and searching the cover, I began to get a bit pissed. Pissed that I had never picked up the book before or given it the light of day! I realized that this could really be a good piece of work. I guess I judged it (stupidly) because the book is based in an urban setting, and hosts themes of gang violence. I guess I ran away from the book because I didn't want to be viewed as typical "black" or "ghetto" person for gravitating towards a book that just happened to be about something considered unacceptable. And I judged the writers, thinking that it wouldn't be well written just because of the themes. Ha,I really need to start caring less about what others think.
But the point is, that as soon as I opened the book I became intranced with the life of a little girl named Sonia who endured hell and came out on top. I learned about her sadness potrayed by the girl on the cover, her tears, her jewelry, the colors she was wearing, and about the sign. everything that was shown had a meaning.
I believe I got to the 5th chapter, of which were fairly lengthy. but I didn't really realize it. It really didn't matter how much time I took reading anyway, because my best friend and I are the types to stay in Borders for hours if allowed ^_^.

But the book really is good. It may not be written by a master scribe or anything like that, but I'll tell you one thing: it was certainly written well enough. it surpassed my standards just through its honesty and simplicity. I so want that book right now, and it's my goal to finish it.

So what I'm saying is that-I want to write a novel like that. Something that means something from another perspective, something that makes others think, and something that changes lives.
These are incredibly large standards, and I'm perfectly aware that I can't do it all in one day. But I don't care if it takes months, or maybe even a few years (but just a few!). I will get this book done. I will get it written, and it will be published. I'm going to write a masterpiece, but I just don't know what about as of now.

We'll see.